One of the greatest dangers churches face is the professionalisation of ministry, when the gap between the pulpit and the pew widens. At this point, church members become consumers instead of co-labourers, and the work of ministry is entrusted into the hands of a few. At this point, immaturity rules the day.
The New Testament has an entirely different view on how the church should operate. The place of leadership is never diminished, but the dignity and purpose of every individual – the priesthood of all believers – is elevated. When this happens, there is potency and life that flows through the body.
One of the core ministries of all believers (that includes you) is the ministry of the word. Aside from the authoritative preaching that is expected from ordained pastors, each person in the church family is entrusted to wield the word for the building up of the body.
This happens in numerous ways, but the main ones mentioned in the New Testament are these. First, there’s encouragement (see 1 Thess 4.18; 5.11; Heb 3.13; 10.25). This is not so much encouragement in the way we think of it – ‘You’re amazing! Back yourself! You’re gonna slaaaay’. Instead, it’s something like this: Putting courage into others by telling them the truth of what we believe; stoking up the fire of faith by helping others cling to the truth.
Second, there’s teaching (as in Col 3.16 or Titus 2.3). Obviously, not everyone is equally knowledgeable in the Scriptures. But the point here is that even if you know just a little bit more than someone else, you can teach them something. It might be a verse you read that morning that happens to be relevant at a particular moment talking to a friend.
Finally, there’s instruction or admonition. There’s a bunch of verses in the New Testament that use a Greek word noutheteo, which is translated differently in different places, but essentially it means this: Giving clear, directive, even forceful advice to someone. Take a look at Romans 15.14, or 1 Thess 5.12, 14, or or Col 3.16.
I think of it like this. If the church is a group of people on a voyage together on the high seas, there are constant waves washing over the deck ready to sweep people overboard. Someone is experiencing doubts; another is caught in temptation; another is walking through suffering. At that point, when someone is about to get washed out to sea, the nearest person needs to throw out a hand and grab them without hesitation. That’s noutheteo – a readiness to speak the truth to each other with real conviction and to help each other do the right thing and stay on board.
All of this to say: You are a minister of the word. A healthy church involves your willingness to build up the body by speaking the truth of the gospel. So ask yourself, who needs to hear from you today? Who can you encourage? Who can you help?
Life in the Welsh Valleys
Grace London is part of a global family of churches called Advance. The network extends from Thailand to Tanzania to Texas and beyond. One fellow Advance church closer to home is Hope Church Rhondda, located in South Wales. The founding pastor, Ben Franks, preached at Grace last summer, so we asked him to update us on how the church is doing.
Tell us about yourself.
My name is Ben. I am married to Lois, and we have four kids: Evan (8), Caleb (6), and Ioan and Ivy – our twins who arrived in January! Lois and I grew up in Cardiff, but we now live in the Rhondda Valley in South Wales, a post-industrial mining area 20 miles northwest of Cardiff.
Why did you decide to plant Hope Church Rhondda?
When Lois and I were 16, a preacher came to our church from the Rhondda Valley. He shared that only 0.9% of people from the area regularly attended church. All I can say is that the Holy Spirit kicked me in the gut (and Lois too). From that day on, we knew God had called us to be involved in church planting in the Rhondda Valley.
In 2012, after we had both gone to uni, the Lord told us it was time to go. So we went. We bought a house in a town called Tonypandy, moved Lois’ business to the high street, and started meeting for church in our home with another couple. Hope Church Rhondda had been born.
What’s been happening in the life of the church since your visit to London last summer?
It has been an exciting season for Hope Church Rhondda. In January, we took a step of faith and multiplied from one congregation to three. Our valley contains many small villages, and we long to see a vibrant, gospel-centred, and spirit-filled church in each community.
The craziest thing has been that our twins arrived six weeks premature on the Tuesday after our Sunday church launch. It somewhat threw our well-made plans into chaos. But God has been so faithful, and our team has been incredible. Sometimes, it is helpful to be reminded that you are not in control, but God is!
Ben Franks preaching to us last summer
Ben also recently started a church planting initiative across Wales. Please tell us more.
I had a dream in March 2021. I am not one for having prophetic dreams, but on this occasion, I saw a website with the domain name www.100.cymru and a title in bold: What would it take to see 100 healthy churches planted in Wales in the next ten years? Along with the question were five tabs (Pray, Inspire, Equip, Send, Support), and in the dream, I clicked on each tab for instruction on how we might start a church planting initiative. It was a bit crazy!
This September, we launched a church planting initiative called 'Cant i Gymru – ‘100 for Wales’ in Welsh. Since then, we have seen five churches planted and expect at least two more this year.
How can we pray for you?
Please pray for capacity and leadership wisdom. Life can feel hectic with two newborns, two young church plants, and the church-planting initiative. We are very aware of how much we need his help, strength and guidance in this season.
Let's pray for Ben & Lois and the rest of the team at Hope Church Rhondda. Let’s pray too for 100 gospel-centred churches to be planted across Wales!
Lessons from Japan
The Okinawan people of Japan have a tradition called moai. Groups of five children are paired together by their families and make a life-long commitment to each other. These groups of committed friends meet regularly over the decades to share their lives and provide financial support when necessary. A moai is a second family.
Recently, researchers found that being in a moai also significantly impacts life expectancy. Okinawan people in these groups often far outlive modern Westerners. Committed friendships provide joy and stability to their lives - and consequently keep them alive.
Life-giving relationships like these aren't forged overnight but require time and intentionality. We rarely drift into deep friendships. Genuinely getting to know someone involves swimming against the tide of comfortable superficiality. It involves commitment akin to that in a moai.
For us in London, this doesn’t mean we should literally create a moai or only have meaningful friendships with a group of five. Rather, there are ways we can foster deeper friendships with many of those we already know. We can make moai-like friendships out of existing ones.
One way to do this, which I've found valuable over the last year, is by using a simple framework for conversation: blessing, battle and breakthrough. It has proved helpful in deepening friendships by moving conversation past small talk and trivialities. Practically speaking, you may want to structure group discussion around each topic or pepper the questions into conversation. It's up to you.
1. Blessing
There's always something to give thanks for. Even when we suffer loss, we can still know Christ. In Him, we have “every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 1.3). Fortunately, there are also many material blessings to give thanks for, be it our health, provision, or relationships.
How are you experiencing God’s blessing?
2. Battle
Equally, as long as we live, we are in a spiritual war. And at times, it feels like we’re losing. We’re all battling sin, twisted desires, and impure thoughts. Our lives are more messy than we would like to admit.
The enemy would like us to keep our sinful actions, desires, and thought patterns hidden. Doing so may make us appear respectable, but it also leads to greater shame, guilt, joylessness and a culture of superficiality. In contrast, confessing before a trusted friend is liberating. It releases our bondage and leads us to repent before God.
Sometimes, the consuming battle may not be indwelling sin but testing circumstances. Loss, unmet desires, and pain weigh us down. We need a friend’s encouragement and prayers in these moments.
What sin/suffering are you battling?
3. Breakthrough
The Christian should be hopeful. The battle is skewed in our favour because Jesus is victorious over sin. So, we should expect to see God at work in our lives, renewing our minds and leading us to experience greater freedom. Perhaps you’ve also witnessed breakthrough through a change in circumstance or answered prayer.
Where can you see breakthrough?
Using these three Bs in conversation may at first feel clunky, but the rewards will hopefully be worthwhile. Building deep and committed friendships, like for the Okinawan people of Japan, will surely bring joy and vitality to our lives.
Nick & Jenn's reflections
Although we officially introduced Foundations only a few weeks ago, a three-month pilot of the course finished on Tuesday. We asked Nick and Jenn, who attended the pilot, to tell us about themselves and their reflections.
Tell us a bit about yourselves.
Nick: I was raised in Singapore and moved to London in August 2021 to pursue a master’s degree at LSE. My wife, Jenn, and I found Grace after a friend recommended it. We loved the Word, worship, and community and quickly settled in, joining Caleigh, Julie and Zach’s life group.
Jenn: I was born in Indonesia before moving to Singapore when I was four. I moved to London in 2021 to accompany Nick as he pursued further studies, and currently, I work as an Interior Designer.
Why did you decide to attend Foundations?
N: I've always been interested in learning about Jesus and have started reading the Bible more earnestly over recent months. Despite being a believer for most of my life, I had faith that the Lord would continue to speak to me at the course.
Was it what you expected?
J: Having attended church from a young age, I expected to hear things I already knew. However, the course prompted me to reassess my convictions and to pursue my own understanding of God rather than relying solely on others. It motivated me to discover a personal relationship with Jesus and seek a deeper connection with my Saviour.
Jenn and Nick
What was your biggest takeaway from the course?
N: Week seven's discussion on growth was especially memorable. Daniel shared that as we grow in spiritual maturity, we become more aware of sin, and it pains us more than before. The fact that I am more conscious of my sin shows that God is working in me.
J: Week four's discussion on scripture altered my view of the Word and my relationship with the Bible, particularly as someone who previously struggled reading it. Now, I am committed to reading the Bible daily.
What would you say to someone considering Foundations?
N: Foundations welcomes both new and seasoned believers! Trust that the Lord will reveal his Word to you in fresh ways.
J: There’s nothing to lose and everything to gain; go with an open heart and mind. Foundations has pivotally shaped my understanding of God’s Word and left us hungry for more.
Our upcoming Foundations course has reached capacity, but if you’d like to join the waiting list for the next one, please email info@grace.london. Find out more here.
Tips for having good conversations
Loving people is our greatest calling. And the simplest way to love other people is to learn how to have a good conversation. It’s often through a conversation that someone feels your warmth, your attentiveness, your interest, your care.
But by saying it’s simple, that does not make it easy. Many things conspire to stop a good conversation from ever happening. You don’t feel like it. Your head is elsewhere. You feel shy. You’ve got things to be getting on with. You’re experiencing interruptions. You have little in common.
A little while ago I came across an excellent and pithy article by Jonathan Noyes with some strong advise in this area. (He’s focussed on conversations that allow you to share your faith, but I think the principles apply more broadly.) Here are some of his tips:
Be present.
‘Multitasking is a myth… This means you need to remove anything that might be a distraction from the conversation. Put your phone in your pocket until the conversation is over…
Being present, though, means more than simply removing distractions. It means being in that moment… Don’t be half in the conversation and half someplace else…
When you stay focused on the person you’re speaking to and remove distractions, you show you value him…’
Ask questions.
‘Francis Schaeffer said, “If I have only an hour with someone, I will spend the first fifty-five minutes asking questions and finding out what is troubling their heart and mind, and then in the last five minutes I will share something of the truth.”
Schaeffer was on to something. Open-ended questions like “What matters most to you in life?” “What do you find confusing about Jesus and Christianity?” and of course, “What do you mean by that?” help you understand what a person thinks so you don’t misunderstand him — or worse, misrepresent him. Asking questions helps you understand what a person believes but also makes that person feel valued and heard. Questions can be disarming and often help bring down a person’s defensive walls…’
Listen intently.
‘The number one tip I can give you to have a good conversation is to listen and be genuinely interested in the other person…
Just like with asking questions, as you listen, people become less guarded, more willing to open up and share their life with you… Steven Covey says, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They’re either speaking or preparing to speak.” Often, we don’t listen to what’s being said because we’re already working on a response in our mind instead of hearing all the other person has to say… Before you can have a good conversation, you have to be a good listener.’
As I said: simple but not necessarily easy. It takes practice – and you’ll have bad days as well as good. But, learning the art of conversation is truly a superpower in the call to love others.
Welcoming like Jesus
Think about the first time you arrived at Grace London. Some of you can even remember the first time you attended any church. How did you feel? Were you confident as you strode in, grabbed a coffee, and took your seat, effortlessly striking up a conversation with others around you?
I thank God for the extroverts among us who can resonate with that image to some degree, but that wasn’t my story the first time I visited a church. I still remember being chuckled at as I fumbled for my wallet to pay for the coffee. I mean come on, every Londoner knows that nothing’s really free. My first time at Grace London was certainly better but I am slightly too introverted to comfortably inject myself into conversations that could form the foundation of meaningful relationships.
A reasonable application of Scripture is to greet one person we don’t know or don’t know well every time we gather with others in the body of Christ. We have been invited, welcomed and greeted by the Lord, and we can reciprocate by welcoming the outsider and the stranger. By welcoming the least, we welcome Jesus (Mark 9:37).
But however outgoing we naturally are, reaching out to people we don’t know can be difficult. There are some people we don't click with, some we don't like, and some who have wronged us. It’s good to move towards others, but it is not easy. The thought of awkward silence or feeling stupid can jeopardise the plan before we’ve even started.
So, what practical steps can we take?
Firstly, start small with a greeting. Greetings are not a form of politeness from a bygone era. They are skills that imitate the Lord and show respect and kindness to others - and we are meant to grow in them.
There are, however, so many people we could greet. We shouldn’t aim to become serial greeters who offer a brief and boisterous “Good morning” before moving on to the next person. Instead, consider whom you are greeting and take time. This means our greeting list might be short because we only have limited time on a Sunday. We cannot talk to everyone. So, here is who you should prioritise:
The visitor (what Scripture calls the “foreigner” or “alien”) comes first.
The visitor who returns comes next.
The less popular, the marginalised, or those sitting alone come next.
Then come the children. Jesus singles them out as examples of the marginalised.
“Ні, _______!” is offered to as many people as possible, which doesn’t have to be accompanied by a hug or a hand-shake.
Good friends can, of course, intersperse these greetings.
As the King goes, so go his people. He moves toward people; we move toward people. He moves toward those who seek him and those who do not; we move toward those who want help and those who seem distant and marginalised. He moves toward friends and even enemies; we move out beyond our circle of friends to those far beyond that circle.
Imagine how this can transform our churches. Instead of talking to the same people – those with whom we are comfortable and who are similar to us – we treat others as God has treated us. Imagine how aloneness could gradually be banished.
Feeding stomachs and souls
Webber Street is a day centre for London's homeless community, located around the corner from Waterloo Station and run by London City Mission. On the first Thursday of every month, volunteers from Grace help at the centre. They prepare a meal for around 40 people, give a short gospel-centred talk and spend time eating with the guests.
Bisi is one of our deacons and oversees the ministry. She tells us more.
Tell us a bit about yourself and how you got involved with Webber Street.
My name is Bisi and I live in north London with my 13-year-old nephew who keeps me busy. I currently work for Grace as a pastoral intern and provide administrative support for our digital comms.
It's always been on my heart to support the local community, so I was excited to get involved in Webber Street when the opportunity arose. A few members of our church work for London City Mission, and connected us with the centre. We've been helping provide these monthly evening meals for about a year now.
Why are you so passionate about this ministry?
I love how in the gospels Jesus notices and dignifies those that others overlook. Think about the woman with the issue of blood (Luke 8:43-48), or the woman at the well (John 4). God calls us to be a community who, like Jesus, sees the pain of those around us, and moves towards it. He calls us to bring the good news of Jesus to those in dire spiritual poverty. He calls us not to overlook those that others might.
But we don’t share the good news of Jesus with the homeless whilst ignoring their physical needs. We address both. We give the guests a meal and tell them the good news. We feed stomachs and souls.
I also feel passionate about this ministry as I've had a pretty messy family life myself, and resonate with many of the guests' situations. It's easy to write off rough sleepers as just another homeless person, forgetting the person behind the pain. Each person has a real story, and abandonment, abuse, and rejection are often involved. Comforting and listening to those who have been through so much is a way to show Christ’s love and bring healing to those who are hurting.
How can the church be praying or supporting Webber Street’s work?
We would love prayer for wisdom as we make plans for the future. We plan to start an evangelistic course in the summer for guests who are hungry to learn more about Jesus. Please also pray for the guests from Webber Street who have started coming to Grace! We are praying that the church community welcomes these people well and Grace becomes a place of warm welcome for the marginalised and homeless.
We are always looking for new volunteers, so if the Lord has put it on your heart to serve in this way, please get in touch (bisi@grace.london). Come and check out a session or two and consider joining the team!
Foundations | A new course
Understanding God and his word strengthens us. It gives us more stability in difficult times, confidence in evangelism, and motivation to live for Him. Many of us know these benefits, but we struggle to find the time or willpower to go deeper. The prospect of self-directed study can feel daunting or beyond our current capacity.
We have set up Foundations to address this exact challenge. Over nine weeks, we will explore the core beliefs and practices of the Christian faith and draw out their life-changing implications. This course is a space where you can wrestle with your questions, firm up your convictions and chart a course towards deeper spiritual formation.
When
Nine consecutive Tuesday evenings from 7.15pm. Beginning Tuesday 28th May.
Where
Oval House (SW9)
Who
You might be a long-time Christian wanting a deeper understanding of the faith to articulate it better and live it out well. You might be wrestling with doubts and questions and looking for clarity. You might be new to the faith and want a fuller understanding of what God calls you to. All are welcome.
Content
Each week we will explore a foundational belief or practice of the Christian faith. These include:
God: Delving into the nature and character of the Almighty
Man: Exploring the beauty, brokenness and redemption of humanity
Gospel: Grasping the good news that saves and transforms
Scripture: Learning to cherish and delight in God’s word
Prayer: Confidently approaching the throne of grace
Community: Being a part of the family of God
Growth (Part 1): Dying to sin
Growth (Part 2): Living to righteousness
Worship: Living for God in all of life
If you have any questions, please contact Daniel via email (daniel@grace.london) or speak to him after one of our Sunday services.
Six Baptisms
Last Sunday (17th March), we had the pleasure of celebrating six baptisms. These brothers and sisters shared all that Jesus has done in their lives and were baptised as a public declaration of their faith. Each testimony was vastly different, but the kindness and power of God saturated them all, as you can read below.
Frank
“For my family, everything changed due to the war. We left behind our city, our extended family, and our friends. We found temporary safety in Uganda and became refugees. We did not have consistent access to basic human needs, and there was so much suffering. It was the lowest point of my life.
“During this time, I turned to the living God. I remember praying on my knees one day, feeling so much pain and hopelessness, and asking God to help my family. I could feel God there with me.”
Malachai
“I became obsessed with spiritual warfare and my desire to be a part of the grand plan of things. I was trying to shove my head into a place where it didn't belong, which ended in me going on a journey with psychedelics.
“It's been a year since my last trip. A serious message during that experience and while sober has warned me not to touch psychedelics anymore - and this time, I heeded the instruction. Since then, I have been walking with Christ, who I've fully dedicated myself to.”
Marius
“My week-long trip to Namibia turned into almost three months after a cycling accident. Elandia and her family embraced me with so much love during this time. They continued to share the gospel with me and what it means to follow Christ. I could see their words in action.
“After this, I could not rationalise living for myself anymore. Even though I'd actively defended doing so for so long, it did not make sense after what I had seen from people who truly love Christ. I also personally experienced God's love and grace over my life.”
Miyuki
“I was reintroduced to Christianity during a Grace London carol service. There was something different about that evening. The Christmas carols I remembered from my youth finally made sense, and I wanted to believe the words I sang.
“It took me five months before I had the confidence to ask my friend to invite me again, to which he said, “You do know that you can just turn up, right?” Fine. So I did. They couldn't get rid of me, even if they tried.”
Natasha
“In the depths of my despair, I knew I needed God. So, I gave my life to Christ just before my 21st birthday. I felt hopeful and at peace, and I practically saw God's work at hand in my life in healing and bringing me out of depression.
“Since accepting Christ into my life, my walk has not been easy. I've experienced deep disappointment and grief along the way, and out of my pain, I tried to hide from my heavenly Father. Yet, he did not turn away from me but continued to come after me to comfort my grieving heart.”
Tarell
“I met a girl from Turkey on a dating app, and after a year of talking, I flew out to meet her. When I arrived, she took me to her church as she had recently become a Christian herself. I saw firsthand what a personal relationship with God can look like.
“I met the pastor there and unloaded all my questions about Christianity. At the end of our conversation, he gave me a gift I'll never forget - a Bible that belonged to his best friend, who had recently passed away. That night, I went home and spoke to God for the first time.”
Let’s thank God for all he has done in these individuals' lives and pray that many more in London will come to know him. If you’re considering getting baptised, please speak to one of the pastors after a Sunday service or mention it to your life group leaders. They would love to hear from you!
The Paradox of Leadership
Finding great leaders in any sphere – be it in the church or the world – is a difficult thing. I believe that this is because of a great paradox of leadership that can be summed up like this: Those who ought to lead are usually unable or unwilling, and those available and willing are least suitable to lead.
Very often, those most worthy of leadership in any sphere are (i) already deeply committed to fruitful work elsewhere, and (ii) self-effacing and therefore disinterested in position or recognition. And therefore, they are somewhat unavailable or unwilling to take on leadership.
On the other hand, those who are most available and eager to lead are often (i) available because they are not already deeply committed to fruitful work elsewhere, and (ii) least suitable or worthy for leadership precisely because of their eagerness to put themselves forward – a desire for recognition that eclipses any genuine ability or qualification for the role.
The political arena illustrates this paradox very well. The people we most need in political leadership as public servants are usually those who have demonstrated exceptional ability and character outside politics (e.g. in business, charity, or the military), and have no real interest in position or power. But, they may be reluctant to enter the political fray for these reasons. Then again, the people we least need in political leadership are usually those who have done nothing except pursue a political career, and are eager to climb into a position of power by whatever means possible. Such people often lack character, convictions, experience, and wisdom.
Surely, this is part of the reason why Jesus chose the most unlikely men as his apostles. He didn’t follow the typical pattern of the rabbis, who selected the most promising and able boys as their disciples. Christ’s men were not picked out from the rabbinical schools or drawn from the pharisaical elites. They were remarkable for the fact that they were ‘uneducated, common men’ (Acts 4.13). Maybe you could argue that Paul was an exception. But when Jesus called him, he had to undergo a complete dismantling of his former life with all his past ambitions and desires, so that he reached a point of true brokenness and humility.
There’s a profound challenge to us all in this.
For some, you may look at your life and see that God is using you in the work you’re doing. There’s real favour on your life. But you feel that you’re carrying a considerable load, and you don’t have a strong desire to step into something new. The challenge to you may be this: Are you wrongly avoiding God’s calling to leadership (whether in the church or the world), and are you withholding your gifts and experience in a way that is impoverishing others? Are you dodging the opportunities to step up, even though it’s clear to you and those around you that you have more to offer?
For others, you need to take a long look at yourself and ask why you are not being given the opportunities you crave. Are you really being faithful with what’s in front of you? Are you demonstrating a readiness to carry responsibility without pursuing recognition? Do you desire leadership too much, and what does that say about your heart?
Spring Reading
Most of us aspire to read more. We desire to be better informed or deeper thinkers, but life often gets in the way. Time slips by.
With the limited time we have, we ought to use it wisely. We can’t afford to waste it on poorly written or misinformed books. So, I’ve shared some of my favourite Christian books, all worth your attention.
The Secret Place of Thunder by John Starke. I need to reread this book. I devoured it over the summer and found it nourishing to my soul. In it, Starke shows us the beauty of an obscure life in a world of posturing and performing.
There’s a part of many of us that longs for notoriety, but Christ advocates something better and altogether different. He commands that our giving, prayer and fasting be done in secret, removed from the gaze of others. As Starke describes, there’s great freedom when we embrace this hidden life poured out for God alone.
The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Classics are classics for a reason, so I discovered. I read this only a few months ago after having had it on my reading list for years. This book is profound, imaginative and, most surprisingly, incredibly witty. It made me reflect but also smirk. It is both deep and light-hearted. It was a joy to read, perhaps also helped by the short chapter lengths.
Remaking the World by Andrew Wilson. The West is weird. Very weird. The norms we embody would be unrecognisable to those living centuries before us - and so too for much of the non-western world today. We are an anomaly. But why? How did we get here as a society?
Wilson tackles this complex question with much-needed clarity. He glides between philosophy, geography, sociology, and science as he helps us locate our place in world history. Useful reading for anyone wanting to critically and thoughtfully engage with secularism.
The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun. I read this relatively soon after surrendering my life to Jesus and found it captivating. I couldn’t put it down. Since then, I’ve reread it several times, and it never fails to grab you by the collar and shake you awake from spiritual slumber.
Brother Yun tells his personal story of coming to faith in communist China as a teenager before becoming a church leader and facing the fiery trials of professing biblical Christianity in a hostile state. Shocking, inspiring, and raw, this read is not for the faint-hearted.
Surprised by Jesus by Dane Ortland. You probably know Dane Ortlund from his book Gentle and Lowly. It’s a great read. In my opinion, Surprised by Jesus is equally good. Ortland takes us on a flyover tour of the four gospels, drawing out the overarching message and design of each. It may sound academic, but it’s incredibly accessible and written to continually surprise you with the undeserved grace of God towards sinners.
Is male headship in marriage a dangerous idea?
A lot of people believe that the doctrine of male headship & authority in the home is a dangerous idea that inevitably leads to the oppression of women. Are they right?
The answer is not straightforward.
In her book, The Toxic War on Masculinity, Nancy Pearcey describes two contrasting pieces of evidence on this subject from a US context. On the one hand, she shows that,
Compared to secular men, devout Christian family men who attend church regularly are more loving husbands and more engaged fathers. They have the lowest rates of divorce. And astonishingly, they have the lowest rates of domestic violence of any major group in America. (p.15)
In other words, on average, devout Christian men are better husbands than secular men. She then goes on to show an astonishing contrast:
Surprisingly, research has found that nominal Christian men have the highest rates of divorce and domestic violence – even higher than secular men. (p.15)
Here, ‘nominal’ means a person who identifies as Christian because of their background, but rarely goes to church. The research about such men is tragic and woeful:
They spend less time with their children, either in discipline or in shared activities. Their wives report significantly lower levels of happiness. And their marriages are far less stable. (p.37)
If devout men make the best husbands, then nominal Christian men make the worst. How can we explain that?
When a man is truly surrendered to Jesus, then he understands his role as head of the home in a radically Christ-centred way. Having authority is in itself neither a good nor bad thing, neither safe nor dangerous in itself. The issue is what you do with that authority. And when a godly man understands his position of responsibility, and then interprets that authority by looking at the example of Jesus, then he seeks to follow that example in the power of the Spirit by laying down his life for his wife and children.
But when a man cherry-picks his theology by embracing male headship, but denying the demands of Christ to die to himself and live a life of surrender, then he becomes dangerous. He’s like a toddler playing with a weapon: He has power but no clue how to use it. In his selfishness and self-centred desires, he ends up abusing his authority and harming those nearest to him. He becomes a brute and a bully, grunting about his God-given rights and privileges, wielding his superior strength and stature to harmful ends, and wreaking destruction in his wake. He reads his Bible ‘through a grid of male superiority and entitlement’ and then manipulates its teaching ‘to justify [his] abusive behaviour’ (p.37).
And this is, in the microcosm of the family, the story of the world. It’s the story of divine power, might, and authority invested in humanity as the pinnacle of creation. Then of that power wielded to the oppression of one another and of the earth itself. But finally, it's the story of that calling to rule being redeemed in Christ Jesus, the selfless husband of his people, and gracious Lord of his creation. Maranatha! Our Lord, come!
Update from Glasgow
You may remember Iain Kennedy visiting Grace London in May ‘23 to preach for us. Iain leads one of our partner churches, Glasgow Grace (the same name is purely coincidental!). He and the team in Glasgow have been a blessing to us over the years, so we’ve asked him to introduce himself and give us an update since last spring. Read more below.
Both ‘Graces’ are part of the Advance Movement, a network of churches stretching five continents, united by a vision to see new churches planted and healthily growing. The movement seeks to see the gospel reach every nation, community, and person - for the good news of Jesus to reach the ends of the earth. Grace London is one of over 130 churches in Advance.
Iain, tell us about yourself.
I’m married to Lyndsay, and we have two kids, Annabel (6) and Finlay (4). I was born in Glasgow, and after Lyndsay and I got married, we settled here for a few years. However, we increasingly felt called to the church plant, so we moved south. We first wanted to be part of a church that 1) honours God’s Word, 2) eagerly desires the gifts of the Spirit, and 3) is determined to reach the lost for Jesus, but not many churches in Scotland fitted that description. So, we settled in the South Coast and instantly felt at home at Gateway Church, Poole.
Why did you decide to plant a church in Glasgow?
After an encouraging weekend as a church exploring the gift of prophecy, we gathered for a leaders' breakfast. Over coffee and eggs, the team started to pray and prophesy over us. The prophetic words were clear about us returning to Glasgow to establish a new church, and after more than a year of prayer and discernment with the elders, we all agreed that we should plant Glasgow Grace!
What’s been happening in the life of the church since your visit to London last spring?
The past year has been full of new life. We have seen more and more people come to faith, including from completely unchurched backgrounds, and there have been loads of child thanksgivings! We are so thankful to God after a couple of really tough years. Only 18 months ago, we were nomads meeting in random venues at various times and were struggling financially. We have now made up our monthly deficit and have a growing team getting ready to plant in the southeast of Glasgow. The gospel is desperately needed there. With all this going on, I’m thankful for the strength of our expanded eldership team – Dennis and Lewis have been seamless and brilliant additions.
Iain, Lyndsay, Annabel & Finlay
What’s been most encouraging about this time?
It’s hugely encouraging to see people who have come to our meetings week after week finally taking the plunge and trusting Jesus with their lives. Perhaps most surprising is the impact this is having on their colleagues, friends and family members. They keep turning up now. We pray that this is just the beginning!
How can we pray for you?
With growth comes great joy and added complexity. Please pray that we will both celebrate what God is doing and make wise decisions about how to go forward together as a church family. Please also pray for how we engage with what is going on in the culture around us.
What does it mean to be part of the Advance Movement?
Being part of Advance has strengthened us in all kinds of ways. We have benefitted from excellent teaching, encouraging worship, financial help (including your extremely generous support last year) and prayer after prayer. These are simply the overflow of genuine gospel friendships. There are very few like-minded churches here in Glasgow, so we are very thankful to be able to walk this road with you and other churches in the UK and abroad. Thank you for partnering with us. We love you guys and continue to pray for you.
Let's thank God for what he's doing at Glasgow Grace and pray for Iain & Lyndsay and the rest of the team there!
Dom & Sabine's Story
Dom and Sabine recently started following Jesus. But their story started a while back, under the warm glow of lamps in a central London cafe. Discussing questions of life and faith - with a plate of food and a hot drink in hand - opened the door to Christ in their lives. They tell us more below about themselves and their experience on the Salt Course below.
Tell us about yourselves.
Dom: I grew up near London, moved to France as a teenager, and returned to the UK to finish my studies. I've worked in London for the last three years and enjoy cooking and going to the gym in my spare time.
Sabine: I'm from New Jersey, right outside New York City, and have lived in London for the last few years. I also enjoy staying active as well as reading, volunteering, travelling, and exploring new restaurants.
What was your experience of faith growing up?
Sabine: In the US, faith is closely tied to politics. I found the dialogue off-putting, and I didn't like some of what I was hearing from church leaders and others who called themselves Christians. So, although I grew up Catholic, this caused me to distance myself from organised religion. Even so, I felt like something was missing in my life.
Dom: Intellectually, I always believed there must be a God. There had to be some higher being to cause matter to exist or the Big Bang. I knew logically, but that’s where it ended for me.
How did you come across the Salt Course?
Dom: My manager told me about a Salt Live talk titled, ‘The Crisis of Masculinity’. I was curious, so I went along and found it interesting. Afterwards, they talked about the Salt Course, starting the following Tuesday. I had the spare time. Free food was on offer. I was there.
Dominic & Sabine
What was your impression of the Salt Course?
Dom: The Salt Course was very different to my previous experiences with religion because it engaged with faith intellectually. It felt like a safe space, and I didn't feel judged for disagreeing, asking questions, or challenging what people were saying. It was a great environment for discussion.
Sabine: I found it really interesting, and it didn't feel like religion was being pushed on you. It left me wanting to come back. I ended up going to every session and wanted to learn and experience more.
How has the Salt Course impacted your lives?
Sabine: Thanks to the Salt Course, I began to rebuild a relationship with God, got to know the Grace London community, and started going to Sunday services. I now have God as the anchor of my life. I know that I can go to him no matter what. I know that I have a church community too. That's made such a difference. I live in a city far from my family, where I don't know many people, but because of Salt, I now know God and realise how loving he is and how much he cares for me. I have made him number one in my life.
Let's give thanks for what God has done in Dom and Sabine's life and prayerfully consider who you could invite to the upcoming Salt Course, starting Tuesday 13th February, 7.30pm @ Costa Coffee, SE1 8LP.
Introducing Daniel
2024 has already seen changes to the church staff team with the exciting addition of Daniel Ogbonna. Daniel is our newest Pastor-in-Training, whose role involves hands-on pastoring and training at the Union School of Theology. He is also helping to run The City Fellowship and a course on the foundations of the Christian faith. He tells us more about his story and his role below.
Tell us a bit about yourself.
I was born and raised in Lagos, Nigeria, but have called London home for the last decade. I arrived here as an engineering student, then worked in management consulting, moved into the finance industry, and now I'm transitioning into full-time ministry at Grace.
How did you come to faith in Jesus?
Although I grew up in a devout Christian home and had always been active in church, it wasn't until the end of 2019 that I truly came to faith. I reached the end of myself and realised that I could not live a righteous life by simply working hard at it. I needed God's grace to forgive and transform me. I exchanged confidence in my efforts for trust in Christ's merit and saw God start to change my character, desires and affections from the inside out.
Daniel, our new Pastor-In-Training (third from the left)
What made you switch from your previous job to the church staff team?
About six months after coming to faith, I started to sense God putting a desire in my heart for pastoral ministry and growing a gift for teaching his Word. Serving in different ways at Grace allowed me to test this calling within community. So, by the time this role came up, I felt certain that God was calling me to ministry. I had to to go for it.
Tell us more. What makes you passionate about pastoral ministry?
It’s a privilege to be involved in the work God is doing in and through our church, as he calls the lost to himself and believers to lives of greater devotion. Sharing and teaching God's Word is one of the most God-glorifying, life-giving, eternity-shaping activities I get to do. I feel God's delight when I do it, and I can't think of a better way to invest my time and energy in this brief life here on earth.
How can we pray for you and the ministry?
Please pray that I will continue to abide in the Vine and walk closely with Jesus amidst the growing busyness of ministry. I also need wisdom to manage my time well, as I’m working part-time for my old employer until the end of February.
Modern life stinks
Part of the evangelical witness right now should be to point out that modern life stinks. Its technology makes us lonely. Its sexuality makes us empty. Its psychotherapy makes us self-obsessed. Many people are on the brink of oblivion, held back in some cases only by medication or political identity. We struggle to articulate why we should continue to live.
– Samuel James
In some ways, the effort to do apologetics (i.e. make a defence of the Christian faith) gets easier and more straightforward as our culture moves further away from God. Eventually, a world without God and without his truth gets so dark that people begin to wonder what’s gone wrong, and they start to grope around searching for a light.
Our Salt Live events are an effort to engage in cultural apologetics. We want to hone in on those aspects of modern life where people are feeling the pain, the confusion, or the inadequacy of existence without God, and then show them the way back to him. With that in mind, I'm thrilled to announce our next Salt Live event:
The Age of Self-Obsession: Is narcissism slowly destroying us?
Tuesday, 6th February at 7.30pm
Jeremy will be wrestling with the phenomenon of self-obsession expressed in all the ways we are encouraged to put ourselves first, step into the spotlight, turn our gaze inward. And he’ll show how this has led us into deeper misery and isolation.
How can we resist the culture of self? How can we begin to find freedom through self-forgetfulness? And what is the real path to happiness if not a focus on ourselves?
We would love for the church family to come to this, not least so that we all can get sharper at cultural apologetics. But more importantly, we would love for you to start thinking about who you will invite.
A New Years Resolution?
Have you given any thought to New Year's resolutions this year?
I used to be sceptical of them, but over the past few years, I've become more convinced of the value of making resolutions i.e. commitments to pursue specific personal goals. You may not achieve what you hoped, but if you aim at nothing, that's often what you achieve.
I wouldn't restrict such commitments just to a new calendar year. Instead, I'd encourage you to regularly take time to step back, and assess each aspect of your life (your spiritual life, your relationships, your work, your responsibilities, and patterns of life), and reflect (with the Lord) on how you might need to make adjustments.
As you're doing that, let me make one suggestion that might be helpful for your walk with God: establish a triplet with a couple of Christian friends.
Have you got a couple of friends you could commit to meeting regularly (either weekly or bi-weekly), who you'll commit to being honest with, sharing your struggles, confessing your sin, reminding each other of the gospel, and praying for each other?
I ask, partly because we're starting a Community Bible Reading plan as a church. You're still able to join the WhatsApp group if you'd like to (where we'll share weekly devotional content). You're welcome to follow along individually, but I think you'd get a lot out of forming a triplet with a couple of other folks. Alongside being honest with each other, you could reflect each week on what you've been reading and how you feel like God has been speaking to you through scripture.
I know some of us in London feel lonely. We cast about, asking, "who are my friends?". One of my main learnings about friendship as an adult is life is full of potential friends. It's simply a matter of who you commit time to. The more you regularly invest time in another person, the better friends you become. So, the question, for 2024, is who will you commit to?
Others of us feel like we have lots of relationships, but we haven't experienced deep, spiritual friendship like this. There's something incredibly special about choosing to be radically honest with a couple of people, and engaging with the hardest elements of your lives together.
So, whether you're doing CBR or not, I'd encourage you to find a couple of people (who you might not know so well to begin with), and commit, perhaps for a few months at first, to meeting regularly. If you're honest, and enter in, asking how can I encourage, pray and serve the other two, I'm pretty confident you'll find it immensely life-giving.