If you’ve been around Grace for a while, you’ll no doubt be aware of the value that we put on community. We’re deeply committed to the idea that church shouldn’t be a crowd, but a community of brothers and sisters invested in each others’ lives. You can see this pattern in the book of Acts, where the early church models a deep devotion to one another, eating together regularly and sharing with those in need. As you start to look for this theme across the New Testament, you’ll find a high vision for biblical community. We are encouraged to be devoted to another in love (Rom 12.1), to serve one another (Gal 5.13), and even to admonish (challenge) one another (Col 3.16). This is why we put such an emphasis on life groups. It’s usually only when you’re investing your life in a more intimate community like this that you find opportunities to serve or encourage other believers.
However, I’d want to go further than this. Alongside committing to community, I’d encourage you to develop spiritual friendships in the church. It’s easy to confuse this with community, but I have something different in mind.
Friendship is usually characterised by a few things - shared interests, time together and a commitment to each another. What about spiritual friendship? I think the underlying thread of Christian friendship is a shared commitment to the other person’s walk with Christ. Proverbs 27.17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”. My starting assumption is that I need people around me who know me and are able to challenge (and encourage) me when they think I’m going off track. We all have blind spots. The only problem is that we need other people to point them out! Undoubtedly, the people who’ve had the biggest impact on my faith have not been spiritual heroes from afar, but the people who have walked together with me through life and who were willing to speak truth to me when I needed to hear it (even if I didn’t want to at the time!).
I speak to many people who don’t have this sort of friendship. How can you establish this in your own life? I think there are three things it requires - intentionality, commitment and honesty. Almost any genuine friendship requires intentionality. Ask that person out for a drink. Be intentional about getting to know them. I’d encourage you to find someone of the same gender to avoid any confusion about your intentions! Second, any genuine friendship requires a time commitment. You can’t short-circuit this. Unless you’re seeing someone regularly (e.g. once a fortnight / month), it’s hard to imagine how genuine friendship will be formed. Third, it’s vital that there is some level of vulnerability here i.e. a willingness to be honest about what’s really going on in your life. Superficial relationships don’t help anyone!
There is cost, at least in terms of time! But having deep friendships marked by honesty, commitment and a shared vision of helping each other grow in your faith has been immensely helpful for me and many others. I’d encourage you to prioritise this!