I was trying to finesse the final section of a song - trying, that is.
The right melody and harmony just weren’t coming, and the more I tried to force it, the more my frustration grew and the less productive I became. Cue the negative feedback loop. One of my flatmates arrived home, and before he could barely catch his breath, I was in full vent, throwing idea after idea his way, hoping for some helpful steer. But in one off-the-cuff remark, I was completely disarmed: “I can be a bit of a perfectionist too,” he said calmly. It hadn’t occurred to me that this was my problem.
For many creatives - or productive types for that matter - perfectionism can become an enemy in disguise. It creeps up on us, dressed as ‘prudence’ or ‘thoroughness’ and steals our joy before we’ve even realised. We end up paralysed, or perpetually searching for the perfect solution, or note or phrase that might not even exist. As the French philosopher Voltaire famously put it, “the best is the enemy of the good.”
But what does the Bible have to say to the perfectionist?
Who are you trying to please?
“For am I now seeking the approval of man or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1.10
It should be said up-front that prudence, excellence, thoroughness and ambition are not nefarious in themselves - in fact they’re very godly qualities - but they can easily become distorted. For some of us, perfectionism can mask a deep-seated form of people-pleasing. We aim for ‘best’ because we fear being viewed as mediocre or the fallout from making a mistake. We want others to admire, appreciate and respect us, and so we try to prove ourselves and meet their (often imagined) standards. Perhaps for you, it’s less about others and more about proving yourself to yourself. Either way, it comes down to pleasing another human - be it your manager, family, peers or self.
But the Apostle Paul makes it clear from the passage above that it’s impossible to live for the approval of both man and God. Either we choose man and cease to be a servant of Christ, or we make Jesus’ approval everything and inevitably disappoint others in the process. There’s no middle ground.
Our perfectionism is therefore a more serious problem than we might have realised. Every time we choose to obsess over minute details in the hope of inching up the reputational ladder, we’re saying no to God's approval, trading one ‘well done’ for another. It's a subtle but deadly sin, one that leaves us less content and more insecure than before.
So, one helpful way I’ve found to fight this deceptive sin - albeit imperfectly, evidently - is by asking myself, “Who am I trying to please here?” The answer is usually pretty revealing - and helps discern a good course of action. If the answer’s ‘man’, then it’s time to stop the frantic obsessing, trusting that any unforeseen failures or flaws are okay, and can be weathered by God’s grace. And if the answer’s ‘God’, then I can continue with faith - just as the Apostle Paul did - despite others’ criticism or disappointment.
Living like this might not look immediately different on the surface; both the perfectionist and God-pleaser are responsible, thorough and ambitious, but underneath they look and feel very different. While one pursues the approval of others - whipping themselves up into a mess in the process - the other can be at peace, working for the (far more manageable!) audience of One. So, which do you choose?
These articles are 100% man-made, without the use of generative AI.