The saltiness of Christ’s sex ethic

As I looked out at the many faces staring back at me, I could see a range of reactions. The room was split, and the atmosphere was charged. There were murmurings and groans of disbelief, some furious note-takers and the odd heckle; but also the warm smiles of the church family willing me on and praying.

We were addressing the question, Have we broken sex? at our most recent Salt Live event. And it was clear that we were trampling on terrain set aside for some cherished idol, some sacred cow. I had felt trepidation coming into this event, but I don’t think I was fully prepared in my mind for how difficult it would be. I felt my own anxiety rising, my mouth drying out, and identified with Paul’s testimony when he said, ‘I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling’ (1 Cor 2.3).

The temptation, of course, is to evade these moments of outright confrontation. But when we first established Salt our aim was to speak directly into those areas where the gospel is most distinct, and therefore also most attractive to some.

Sexual exploration is seen these days as the pathway to personal maturity and freedom, though I have nowhere heard anyone explain that in any coherent manner. It’s just assumed. Against this backdrop, it’s clear that the vision of sexual purity and self-control that Christ articulates is now regarded as ludicrous and even oppressive or dangerous to healthy personal development.

When you see a chasm like this emerge between culture and Christ, that is precisely where the opportunity for witness resides. The church is a people called out from the world, defined as holy, set aside for devotion. And it is our difference that can be compelling and attractive for those who are sickened and despairing with the way things are.

Nowhere is the West’s moral system more obviously bankrupt than in it’s self-obsessed approach to sexual gratification. The fallout from the sexual revolution has been catastrophic, leading to more loneliness, rejection, abuse, objectification, regret, unfaithfulness, childlessness and divorce than anyone could have predicted.

Therefore, in the arena of our sex lives – perhaps more than any other – we, as twenty-first century believers, are called to be salty. ‘Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its saltiness, how will you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another’ (Mark 9.50). 

February’s Salt Live talk will be uploaded next week. Visit salt.london to give it a listen or watch a video recording of the talk here.

The foot-washing king

This week, I've been reflecting on Jesus’ willingness to wash his disciples’ feet in John 13. I think we tend to forget how shocking it is. Even to our ears, it feels deeply unappealing. Consider the prospect of cleaning the feet of twelve men who’ve been walking hot and dusty streets all day. What would it have smelt like?! Even in Jesus’ day, this wasn’t normal. Guests were usually expected to wash their own feet. If a servant were required to wash the guests’ feet, only the lowest-ranking servants would be required to do so. You can understand why Peter initially rejects Jesus' plan out of hand.

If the incident isn’t shocking enough, Christ tells us that we are to emulate his example (John 13.15). We are to take on the posture of a servant like our master.

From March, we’re going to be hosting a monthly community evangelistic meal at Webber Street Day Centre (a ministry of London City Mission) for the homeless and marginalised community in Waterloo. On the first Thursday of each month, a team from Grace London will cook, host and hang out with guests from the rough sleeping community. Each time, we’ll also have someone give a short evangelistic talk. To my mind, this is an ideal way to do mission, combining practical loving service with gospel proclamation. Click here to find out more & sign-up. 

Serving others is often humbling, painful and inconvenient. It only works if we’re filled with the love of Christ, which in turn requires us to be walking closely with Christ. But if we take up this call to serve others in love and humility, we start to emulate the greatest servant who has ever lived.  

Enjoying God

I’d like to do a series of emails on different aspects of your walk with God, including some spiritual disciplines.  

I’d like to start the series with one of the most important aspects of the Christian life: Enjoying God! 

It sounds obvious to some of you, but, in my pastoral work, I meet so many Christians, where the main need in their life is to deepen their personal relationship with Christ before they even think about impacting their colleagues for Christ, or serving the church, or pursuing grand plans to change the world! Whilst all these things are good, they cannot come at the expense of our communion with God. It is a wonderful gift, perhaps the greatest gift of our lives, which we often neglect to our peril. 

I’m convinced that much of the Christian life comes down to the active pursuit of genuine joy in your relationship with Christ. John Calvin put it like this: 

“It will not suffice simply to hold that there is one whom all ought to honour and adore, unless we are persuaded that he is the fountain of every good…Nay, unless they [all men] establish their complete happiness in him, they will never give themselves truly and sincerely to him”

The implication of Calvin’s encouragement here is simple. The way to grow your obedience muscle is simply to grow in your love for and joy in Christ. We are wired to fixate on the things that bring us joy. Only when God is the greatest source of joy in our lives will we return to him repeatedly, seeking the deep and rich satisfaction that comes from delighting in his incredible love and reflecting on his awe-inducing holiness. And only when we do that, will we feel a genuine desire to submit to his ways in every part of our lives. 

This is, of course, not to diminish the everyday joys of life – the little gifts along the way. Rich friendships. Beautiful walks. Sumptuous cooking. In fact, when we respond with thanksgiving in our hearts, these ‘earthly pleasures’ become part of our enjoyment of God, the ultimate giver of these gifts. 

However, there’s nothing like the pleasure that comes from reflecting on his promises, and experiencing, by the Spirit, a sense of the Father’s delight in you, because of your adoption in Christ. In a sense, joy is not the main goal here. It’s merely a byproduct of experiencing deep communion. 

Our expectations in this area are often much too small. The encouragement to engage in the spiritual discipline of reading your bible and praying doesn’t quite do justice to the relational reality of speaking and listening to Christ. Step back and consider what an incredible privilege it is to spend time with the living God.

Are we ignoring the delight and strength that God wants to impart to us as his children?

Put Down Roots

Back in January, I spoke to a group of our church leaders giving them sixteen tips on flourishing in the city. Soon after, I began writing a series of short letters to the whole church enlarging on each of these tips. You can catch up on these here. In the coming weeks, I want to resume this series and aim to write a few more.

I once knew a pastor and wife from abroad who spent decades living and ministering in London. They enjoyed real success in ministry, and as a result many people appreciated them and their work. And so it was surprising for me to visit their home in London, as they were preparing to leave the city, and discover that in all the decades they had lived here, they had never decorated or made it their own. When asked why this was the case, they explained, ‘Because we always thought, there’s no point; we’ll be going home next year.’

Living in a place whilst thinking about the next place is a uniquely miserable way to live. It fosters many of the worst conditions of soul – discontentment, dissatisfaction, and disconnection from the people you are with and the place God has put you. Worst of all, it makes you unhappy, and joylessness is the soil in which all kinds of sins may grow.

As humans, for the good of our souls, we need to behave more like plants and put down roots. This is a biblical image that speaks primarily to the need for spiritual joy and nourishment drawn from God, his Spirit, and his word (see Psalm 1 and Jeremiah 17.7–8). Now, it is possible to be rooted in God alone even when living an unsettled existence, moving from place to place. That was Christ’s own experience for the three years of his ministry on earth. ‘Foxes have holes,’ he said, ‘and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head’.

But, the Lord designed you to flourish by being settled in some place, with some people. Adam and Eve were put in a garden. Abraham was called to a land. Caleb laid claim to his mountain. Christ has asked his Father for the entire earth (Psalm 2). I conclude: our modern, nomadic way of life is not normal or particularly healthy, in most cases.

One of the most important pieces of advice on flourishing in the city is this: put down roots. There are things outside your control, such as whether or not you’re ever able to marry, or to buy a home, or to raise a family. But putting down roots is more about your mindset. As the missionary Jim Elliot once put it, ‘Wherever you are, be all there!’